I know it’s been forever since I’ve posted a testimony, I hope you’ve missed them.
I honestly cried so hard reading this testimony that came in because it tugged on the strings of my heart so heavily. I have now become friends with this young lady. She’s so beautiful INSIDE and OUT and their children are just so precious. I agree with her though, I think we (Slavic churches) really lack in the support for struggling marriages. One of my biggest desires is that women in our Slavic communities will have support in every area of life they may struggle in to overcome issues they are having.
Women of all ages, love on those that are struggling, let the judging go. Older women, show us how to be Godly wives, raise up sons who will be strong, Godly leaders, who aren’t afraid to help around the house and be an active, hands-on fathers. We need husband and wives that aren’t self and me oriented but those that want to serve the other, as the example Jesus set for us.
Grab a cup of hot tea or coffee, a box of tissues and enjoy the read.
(P.S. If you have a testimony to share, please e-mail me ([email protected]) or leave a comment below and I will e-mail you.:).
We would all LOVE to read what God has been doing in your life. Be encouraged, inspired, uplifted and strengthened in faith by your testimony.)
A little background on me. I was raised in a wonderful, Christian family and became a Christian when I was young. I met a guy and fell in love when I was 20. He was from a good family too. We wanted to stay pure before marriage and got married quickly. I was so head over heals in love and so blinded by love and he was too. We got pregnant with our first baby three months into our marriage. Pregnancy was very hard, very hard. It started to affect our marriage. Before we were married, no-one really talked to us about what to expect in marriage and how to go through trials. I always thought it was going to be so perfect, without a single problem. We had to find everything out on our own. The farther I went in our pregnancy, it seemed like the more problems we had. We began to argue over such small things. It broke my heart because this was not at all what I dreamed married life was like. After our baby came, my life became living for him, everything I did was for the baby. That of course, took another toll on our marriage. Surprise, I got pregnant again. Can you believe it? It was so hard to raise our little infant and be pregnant again. My husband tried to do whatever he could but it was so hard because we both came from different backgrounds and were raised differently. My dad did everything around our house, he loved my mom and helped her with everything and that’s what I expected from my husband. My husband grew up in a home where the wife did all the work and the man just made the money. We were so lost because we both knew deep down we loved each other, we just didn’t know how to make things work and we were both SOO young. After our second child was born, things were just ripping at the seems. We finally admitted we were both so unhappy and the D word we both promised to never say (divorce) came up. I cried myself to sleep almost every night. I finally moved into the kids’ room with them. I was so embarrassed for failing as a wife and even more embarrassed how sad God must be looking down on my family. My husband made really good money and shopping became my “reliever”. Even saying that now it seems so silly and embarrassing but that is the truth. That was the one thing that brought me happiness. I loved to buy stuff, it brought me joy and I was so unhappy in my marriage, I wanted to feel that more and more so I would pack up my two kids and while my husband was at work I would just shop. Well.. Before long, the credit cards started filling up. Guess what, we started fighting even more. I was so prideful and didn’t want to admit it, shopping became kind of an addiction.
(In the middle of all of this, when we would go to church or to his or my family’s house, we put on this “perfect family” act. I cannot believe what a fake I had become. Before I got married, I read the Bible every day. I was heavily involved in our church and youth. So was my husband.)
By now my oldest was three and baby one and a half. I dreaded him coming home from work in the evenings. I stopped making good meals for him because I was so bitter and of course we then began fighting about that. One day, I finally told him I was leaving. I was not sure where I was going to go and how I would survive but I just couldn’t live life like this anymore. We sat there in such silence you could hear the beating of our hearts. All he asked was whose family we would tell first. We decided each would go to their parent’s and break the news to them. Looking back now, I am so ashamed how far God had been in my life and my marriage. When I told my mom and dad, the look on my mom’s face was as if I just stabbed her with a dagger straight in the heart. They sat in silence for a few minutes. My dad asked we prayed for God’s wisdom. I cringed at the thought of praying with my parents. Praying together was so special for me when I was still at home. My parents would gather all of us children (and we had a big family) and we would all take turns praying. I always looked forward to those prayers because by them I saw how each of my sibling’s day was. This time, I stood there in silence as they prayed. I thank God with all of my heart for giving me such amazing, Godly parents because they saw my spiritual state as I stood there stone cold. They didn’t judge me though. As we got up, my wonderful and wise father began asking me about what I was like as a wife. I was so mad with them, I tried to keep calm but inside I was boiling. My parents wanted to hear what I was doing as a wife and if I was a Godly wife to her husband. How dare they not be on my side. They were my parents, they needed to stick up for me and hear all the dirt about my husband. Every time I would bring my husband into it, dad would hold up his hand and stop me. I was there for a few hours and they wouldn’t let me tell them a single flaw my husband had.
My mom made me a cup of coffee just the way I liked it and said they needed some time in prayer. They left me alone with my thoughts, something I hadn’t done in a really long time. I always had the children with me (when I was talking to them, my sister was babysitting them.) Sitting there alone and uncomfortable, all those memories of the wonderful years at home became playing in my head, good memories. I realized I was sitting in the exact seat as when I told my parents with a heart full of butterflies I found the man of my dreams and was getting married. Parents were gone for probably a good half hour. They came back both of their faces were red and eyes swollen from tears. It hurt to seem what I was doing to my parents. I was so prideful and pushed back the guilt forming in my throat.
Mom sat next to me and put her arms around me, she was like shaking. My dad got on his knees before us. He apologized for now being more actively involved in supporting our family and asked for forgiveness for now teaching me about what to expect in a marriage and how to be a good and Godly wife to my husband. This wasn’t their fault I told them, not at all. Now the guilt was even more real. Dad asked for a favor. He asked to give our marriage one more chance and they would help us with this battle. I’m not sure why but I heard myself yes. I asked them where to start. With prayer they said. When we got down on our knees, this time, I cried too. I cried so hard I was shaking. My dad told me to see my husband as the man I felt in love with and look at his flaws through Christ. He pointed out to me all the things I should be doing as a wife and my cheeks were red. I realized sitting that I was so focused on my husband and his bad things that I was so blinded by my own actions. Dad and mom told me to work on myself and ask God to intervene and work on my husbands heart, oh how grateful I am for them. When I was driving home, I didn’t know what to expect because I now wanted to try and save my marriage but I had no idea what my husband would feel.
I seriously felt like my heart was going to just jump out of my chest I was so afraid. I walked in with the kids and couldn’t believe my eyes. My husband was kneeling by the couch with the Bible open and a large bouquet of flowers were in a vase by him. He saw me come in and came to me, his eyes were red from crying. He helped me with the kids, took off their coats and boots. He said lets put the kids to sleep and have a talk. I was so shocked. He never put kids to sleep, that was always “my job”.
I just want to tell everyone we serve an amazing God. Our story exists only because God made it possible. We now love to share with newly weds and try to give them tips and advice that we wish we had heard. I just want to especially encourage those of you that are having problems, don’t be shy to ask for help and ask others for support. Even if you think there is no hope for your situation, the Bible says everything is possible with God. We are living proof of that.