A Marriage Restored

Hi there!

I know it’s been forever since I’ve posted a testimony, I hope you’ve missed them. 

I honestly cried so hard reading this testimony that came in because it tugged on the strings of my heart so heavily. I have now become friends with this young lady. She’s so beautiful INSIDE and OUT and their children are just so precious. I agree with her though, I think we (Slavic churches) really lack in the support for struggling marriages. One of my biggest desires is that women in our Slavic communities will have support in every area of life they may struggle in to overcome issues they are having.

Women of all ages, love on those that are struggling, let the judging go. Older women, show us how to be Godly wives, raise up sons who will be strong, Godly leaders, who aren’t afraid to help around the house and be an active, hands-on fathers. We need husband and wives that aren’t self and me oriented but those that want to serve the other, as the example Jesus set for us.

Grab a cup of hot tea or coffee, a box of tissues and enjoy the read.

-Valentina

(P.S. If you have a testimony to share, please e-mail me (valentina@valentinascorner.com) or leave a comment below and I will e-mail you.:).

We would all LOVE to read what God has been doing in your life. Be encouraged, inspired, uplifted and strengthened in faith by your testimony.)

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Valentinas Corner Testimony: A marriage restored.
(Image credit: Google images)
Thank you so much Valentina for allowing me to share our testimony. I have gone back and forth for a long time thinking if I should share but feel like God is leading me to share. I hope it will be a blessing to others. Please keep my name anonymous.

A little background on me. I was raised in a wonderful, Christian family and became a Christian when I was young. I met a guy and fell in love when I was 20. He was from a good family too. We wanted to stay pure before marriage and got married quickly. I was so head over heals in love and so blinded by love and he was too. We got pregnant with our first baby three months into our marriage. Pregnancy was very hard, very hard. It started to affect our marriage. Before we were married, no-one really talked to us about what to expect in marriage and how to go through trials. I always thought it was going to be so perfect, without a single problem. We had to find everything out on our own. The farther I went in our pregnancy, it seemed like the more problems we had. We began to argue over such small things. It broke my heart because this was not at all what I dreamed married life was like. After our baby came, my life became living for him, everything I did was for the baby. That of course, took another toll on our marriage. Surprise, I got pregnant again. Can you believe it? It was so hard to raise our little infant and be pregnant again. My husband tried to do whatever he could but it was so hard because we both came from different backgrounds and were raised differently. My dad did everything around our house, he loved my mom and helped her with everything and that’s what I expected from my husband. My husband grew up in a home where the wife did all the work and the man just made the money. We were so lost because we both knew deep down we loved each other, we just didn’t know how to make things work and we were both SOO young. After our second child was born, things were just ripping at the seems. We finally admitted we were both so unhappy and the D word we both promised to never say (divorce) came up. I cried myself to sleep almost every night. I finally moved into the kids’ room with them. I was so embarrassed for failing as a wife and even more embarrassed how sad God must be looking down on my family. My husband made really good money and shopping became my “reliever”. Even saying that now it seems so silly and embarrassing but that is the truth. That was the one thing that brought me happiness. I loved to buy stuff, it brought me joy and I was so unhappy in my marriage, I wanted to feel that more and more so I would pack up my two kids and while my husband was at work I would just shop. Well.. Before long, the credit cards started filling up. Guess what, we started fighting even more. I was so prideful and didn’t want to admit it, shopping became kind of an addiction.

(In the middle of all of this, when we would go to church or to his or my family’s house, we put on this “perfect family” act. I cannot believe what a fake I had become. Before I got married, I read the Bible every day. I was heavily involved in our church and youth. So was my husband.)

By now my oldest was three and baby one and a half. I dreaded him coming home from work in the evenings. I stopped making good meals for him because I was so bitter and of course we then began fighting about that. One day, I finally told him I was leaving. I was not sure where I was going to go and how I would survive but I just couldn’t live life like this anymore. We sat there in such silence you could hear the beating of our hearts.  All he asked was whose family we would tell first. We decided each would go to their parent’s and break the news to them. Looking back now, I am so ashamed how far God had been in my life and my marriage. When I told my mom and dad, the look on my mom’s face was as if I just stabbed her with a dagger straight in the heart. They sat in silence for a few minutes. My dad asked we prayed for God’s wisdom. I cringed at the thought of praying with my parents.  Praying together was so special for me when I was still at home. My parents would gather all of us children (and we had a big family) and we would all take turns praying. I always looked forward to those prayers because by them I saw how each of my sibling’s day was. This time, I stood there in silence as they prayed. I thank God with all of my heart for giving me such amazing, Godly parents because they saw my spiritual state as I stood there stone cold. They didn’t judge me though. As we got up, my wonderful and wise father began asking me about what I was like as a wife. I was so mad with them, I tried to keep calm but inside I was boiling. My parents wanted to hear what I was doing as a wife and if I was a Godly wife to her husband. How dare they not be on my side. They were my parents, they needed to stick up for me and hear all the dirt about my husband. Every time I would bring my husband into it, dad would hold up his hand and stop me. I was there for a few hours and they wouldn’t let me tell them a single flaw my husband had.

My mom made me a cup of coffee just the way I liked it and said they needed some time in prayer. They left me alone with my thoughts, something I hadn’t done in a really long time. I always had the children with me (when I was talking to them, my sister was babysitting them.)  Sitting there alone and uncomfortable, all those memories of the wonderful years at home became playing in my head, good memories. I realized I was sitting in the exact seat as when I told my parents with a heart full of butterflies I found the man of my dreams and was getting married. Parents were gone for probably a good half hour. They came back both of their faces were red and eyes swollen from tears. It hurt to seem what I was doing to my parents. I was so prideful and pushed back the guilt forming in my throat.

Mom sat next to me and put her arms around me, she was like shaking. My dad got on his knees before us. He apologized for now being more actively involved in supporting our family and asked for forgiveness for now teaching me about what to expect in a marriage and how to be a good and Godly wife to my husband. This wasn’t their fault I told them, not at all. Now the guilt was even more real. Dad asked for a favor. He asked to give our marriage one more chance and they would help us with this battle. I’m not sure why but I heard myself yes. I asked them where to start. With prayer they said. When we got down on our knees, this time, I cried too. I cried so hard I was shaking. My dad told me to see my husband as the man I felt in love with and look at his flaws through Christ. He pointed out to me all the things I should be doing as a wife and my cheeks were red. I realized sitting that I was so focused on my husband and his bad things that I was so blinded by my own actions. Dad and mom told me to work on myself and ask God to intervene and work on my husbands heart, oh how grateful I am for them. When I was driving home, I didn’t know what to expect because I now wanted to try and save my marriage but I had no idea what my husband would feel.

I seriously felt like my heart was going to just jump out of my chest I was so afraid. I walked in with the kids and couldn’t believe my eyes. My husband was kneeling by the couch with the Bible open and a large bouquet of flowers were in a vase by him. He saw me come in and came to me, his eyes were red from crying. He helped me with the kids, took off their coats and boots. He said lets put the kids to sleep and have a talk. I was so shocked. He never put kids to sleep, that was always “my job”.

After the kids were sleeping. He told me to sit on the coach. (Haha, the flowers smelled so good but I was trying to pretend I didn’t see them.) He got the flowers and gave them to me. He told me he stopped at the store to pick up flowers for his mom on his way to talk to them. When he was looking what to pick out, he realized he couldn’t remember the last time he got me flowers. He said he didn’t know why but all of a sudden he wanted to give me those flowers. So he got a big bouquet and instead of going to moms, automatically he turned to go home. When he was already in our driveway he realized this wasn’t his moms. But he knew that was God. When he got in the house, he opened the Bible, something they didn’t do for a long, long time. When he was reading, the Holy Spirit just was working in him and he realized he wasn’t exactly the husband he knew God wanted him to be. He needed to save their marriage. Oh I cannot tell you how shocked I was. It’s like reading a fictional novel. We both cried so hard. I apologized for not being the wife God wanted me to be for him. He surprisingly apologized for his mistakes in the marriage. We both agreed we needed to change if things were going to work out.
Fast forward 5 years to the present. We are soooo happy. We have another child, we named her Grace as a memory for the amount grace God had on us. He gives me butterflies when he walks in from work. It was a very hard journey to change my way of thinking and actions. But we serve such an amazing God. He completely gave me a new heart. I love serving my husband. I love cooking for him, having the house clean when he comes home. I even LOVE his flaws because they are his, can you believe it?. We do everything together. We read the Bible together, pray together and go through the ups and downs together. I love this man so much my heart just wants to burst with joy and to think we were so ready for divorce is so scary. We still have trials, just like every healthy relationship but we deal with them right away. It’s such the most amazing feeling.
I just want to tell everyone we serve an amazing God. Our story exists only because God made it possible. We now love to share with newly weds and try to give them tips and advice that we wish we had heard. I just want to especially encourage those of you that are having problems, don’t be shy to ask for help and ask others for support. Even if you think there is no hope for your situation, the Bible says everything is possible with God. We are living proof of that.
I want to encourage you to keep up the personal posts on your blog, they have been such a blessing to so many couples I know… <3
Blessings….
Valentinas Corner Testimony: A marriage restored.
(Image credit: Google images)

Valentina's Corner

Show 39 Comments
  • Miguel 05/13/2018, 4:09 pm Link Reply

    Thanks for the Wonderful testimony. I am a single man, and I look forward to get a God fearing wife. Can you please to me a favor. I need book on marriages. Thank you.

    • admin 05/15/2018, 4:45 pm Link Reply

      Thanks so much for visiting, Miguel. If that is the desire of your heart, God will help you find her. I will do a post soon on different types of books we have really liked and that had a really big impact on our lives. Check back in a few weeks. 🙂

  • Kristina 03/20/2018, 7:50 pm Link Reply

    So powerful! Thank you so much. Gave me tears also. God has done amazing things in my marriage also. God is so good! I shared this to some of my friends. I’m sure they will enjoy reading.

    • admin 03/21/2018, 5:13 pm Link Reply

      Kristina, I felt the same way I first read it!
      If you wouldn’t mind, I’d love to feature your story:). You can keep the names anonymous if you’d prefer. Pray about it and you can e-mail me at valentina@valentinascorner.com if you’d be okay with that.
      It’s such a blessing to be able to share what God is doing in our lives and testify about it! To inspire people that are in similar and tough situations that there is hope.
      Thanks so much for a part of our online family.

  • Katy 12/02/2016, 2:16 pm Link Reply

    This is such a sweet, touching testimony! I think it’s a must read for all newlyweds!

    • admin 12/02/2016, 10:37 pm Link Reply

      Katy,
      Sure is! I was so blessed by it as well?..

  • Dina 11/11/2016, 11:34 pm Link Reply

    This is such a touching story! Thank you for sharing this testimony on your blog!

    • admin 11/12/2016, 11:42 pm Link Reply

      So glad you enjoyed it, Dina.. It was such an honor to share..??

  • Marina 11/04/2016, 11:30 am Link Reply

    Thank you very much for sharing this testimony with us! Our amazing God is so merciful to all of us! This story encouraged me to praise God for my wonderful husband, and for our Godly parents on both sides, and to ask God for more wisdom in my life as a wife and a mother. “You are my God, and I will praise You; You are my God, and I will exalt You. Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever.” (Psalm 118:28-29) Thank you and may God continue to bless you – Valentina, the lady who shared this testimony with us, and everyone who has read, and will be reading this beautiful story!

    • admin 11/05/2016, 3:25 am Link Reply

      Marina, Thank you so much for that verse you shared. Very encouraging and I’m sure it will be a blessing to someone reading this post.
      What a blessing to have Godly parents on both sides. My parents are believers and my hubby’s are not-yet. Though I cannot wait for the day they will be, they are such wonderful people.
      Thank you for visiting and partaking in feedback, I really look forward to hearing comments☺.

  • Irina@slavicmom.com 10/31/2016, 5:03 pm Link Reply

    I was crying when I was reading this story. Thank you so much for sharing, it does remind us of how great Our Heavenly Father is, and how close He is when we seek Him!

    • admin 11/01/2016, 12:26 am Link Reply

      So glad you were blessed by the read! Totally agree with you. Thank you so much for visiting. <3

  • Anna 10/28/2016, 5:51 pm Link Reply

    Such an amazing testimony!!! Was crying while reading it. God is amazing and though I not a married woman yet still this is such an example for me to actually want to serve my husband in the future and be the Godly woman. Thank you so much Valentina! May God bless you and your family. I absolutely love your blog.

    • admin 11/04/2016, 12:51 am Link Reply

      Anna, I almost cried at your comment. I’m soo touched that young women, unmarried, read our posts and have a desire to be a wife after God’s heart. Just makes my heart sing…
      Feeling very special to have you as a reader and friend. Hoping God blesses you with an amazing God-fearing man.
      If you wouldn’t mind, I’d love to send you a few books I have that I think would be a blessing for you. Send me your address to valentina@valentinascorner.com ☺☺
      (Sorry for not answering sooner, your comment went to spam for some reason..)

  • Luba 10/28/2016, 10:36 am Link Reply

    I didn’t notice any grammar errors! I guess the tears running down my cheeks blocked them ? Such a great testimony! Thanks for sharing your readers stories Valya!

    • admin 10/28/2016, 9:53 pm Link Reply

      Luba,
      So glad you enjoyed this read as much as I did. I was so blessed by it and encouraged in my faith. <3 I'm so honored to share such wonderful stories.

  • Anonymous 10/26/2016, 9:59 pm Link Reply

    To this strong sister I just want to say god bless you! Wow. My heart was pounding so hard as I was reading your story. I have a personal question that I would like to ask you but I’m not sure how to reach you though. :/ I need your help and advice.

    • admin 10/26/2016, 10:16 pm Link Reply

      Hi Anonymous, so glad to hear this story was a blessing to you.
      I sent you an e-mail :O).

  • Annonym 10/25/2016, 1:33 pm Link Reply

    wow… I am extremely happy that everything is worked out… God is still doing miracles.

    I have lots of what to say:

    #1. Be thankful for your wisdom parents. What they did, I can see they are truly Christian and they do have lots of God’s wisdom. Not a lot of christian parents will do the same way. Personally, I would not go to my parents and tell them something about it because they will judge me and tell me: “We told you and you didn’t listen to us”.
    #2. Wow, I can see how God was working through your parent’s prayer while your husband was at the flower shop. It is indeed God answered to whatever your parents was praying at that moment.
    #3. I am so sad that our slavic churches doesn’t welcome any Christian literature on how to be a wisdom wife and mother before and after marriage. When we’re stepping into this, no one tells us how to solve problems. Everyone think that they couple will figure out by itself. But it is not. Marriage is a hard work.
    #4. You should start a small group like your age (+/- 10 years) with girls once a week. Gather for prayer group and discussing “Wisdom Mother” book. This book is so good, it helps you to realize what mistakes we all do make. The author of this book actually, wanted to divorce her husband after 7 years. Then, they realized it is not the way everyone will approve in her family and they started to work out on their selves to save their marriage.

    Thank you so much for sharing this testimony with us. May Lord bless you

    • admin 10/26/2016, 10:24 pm Link Reply

      Oh I so agree with you Annonym, such wonder and wise parents. What a blessing it is to have such parents.
      I too wish our churches were more actively involved in marriages, especially those that are just beginning this journey. To help direct them and build a solid foundation. I sure do have hope for the next generation that sees this is an issue and will more willing to address it.
      Thank you so much for visiting.

  • Lora 10/24/2016, 3:56 pm Link Reply

    Thank you for sharing your story, anonymous sister. I’m very proud of how your parents reacted to the news you brought them. Although its best to be proactive and teach our teenage children that family life and marriage is not a fairy tale. It’s absolutely necessary to have premarital counseling done by Spirit-lead pastors, imoa. But, they did admit that they were sorry for not properly teaching how to be a Godly wife and that they appologize that they did not support you in the early days off their daughter’s marriage. Kuddos to them for asking you to pray with them and asking you to give your marriage one more chance. Smart of them. And, praise be to our Almighty God who does a change of our hearts and gets hold of the hearts of our spouses!!! Yes, marriage is a lot of work and sacrifice.

    One thing my husband and I agreed to do when we just got married, (go to bed in peace) is before we pray for the night, to ask each other if we have offended the other in anything we said or did, or didn’t do. (If we haven’t done it earlier in the day). It has helped us get things resolved and sometimes talk it out an hour or most night, but not to hold it in and build more ugly negative feelings and thoughts on that. We try to ask forgiveness and see how our actions were hurtful and how we can improve. Our children are learning to do that also. Communication is a big thing in relationships. That’s why I believe having a regular and deep relationship with our Lord Saviour is the key to having other relationships in life go much smoother.
    Valya, thanks for posting these testimonies!!! Even if they do have some grammatical errors, I think we all get the point, the message. :-). I just know that some “proper English” readers would not mind having less mistakes. With auto correct we have these days, we have to be more careful in proof reading and editing.

    God bless!

    • admin 10/26/2016, 10:37 pm Link Reply

      Lora,
      I love your personal testimony about going to bed in peace. My hubby and I have the same rule and we LOVE it! It has saved us so much heartache throughout the years. Love hearing that we are not the only ones that practice this:).
      About the errors, this was not my story to share and she poured her heart out, I couldn’t find it in me to correct anything. In the future though, I will inform those that share their testimony will be proofread. However, it’s not that big of a deal to me. The message was relayed and I’m sure understood by all:) :).
      Thank you for visiting.

  • Olga 10/23/2016, 1:53 am Link Reply

    Thank you for sharing such an encouraging testimony!

    Also, please don’t be offended, but it is really difficult to read through something that clearly has not been proofread. It would be very, very nice if you would proofread/edit the posts before posting.

    • admin 10/23/2016, 10:46 am Link Reply

      Thanks so much Olga for the tip/advice, appreciate it. I’ll definitely keep that in mind for the future! Though if I’m honest, I was so into the story I barely noticed anything (I read it like 3 times). <3

  • Valentina 10/22/2016, 12:54 pm Link Reply

    Beautiful Story. Made me cry. A lot of us think that marriage is living this perfect dream and don’t realize that it’s not until we get married. It’s a lot of sacrifice, work, prayer, ups and downs, misunderstandings, worry, but theres also so much love, joy, and happiness, and in the end it’s worth it all! May God bless all of us wives and give us wisdom to be that wife that builds her house (Proverbs 14:1). And to the one that commented above saying that she is going thru a hard time in her marriage.. prayer is the key to everything. If you want your marriage to work out it takes a lot of prayer and humbling yourself before God and your husband. I will keep you in my prayers.

    • admin 10/23/2016, 10:43 am Link Reply

      Hi there Valentina (beautiful name, hehe..;))..
      Yup, totally agree, marriage is a lot of work, on a daily basis. Living in such a “ME” centered world, it becomes so hard for young couples that get married to shift that focus and many marriages are struggling. Though sometimes marital issues go untouched for so long and the damage is so deep and true intervention is needed and BOTH need to change on top of prayer. But that change can only be made with the Holy Spirit convicting them and they actually see the change that needs made. It’s so easy to say “She’s not a good wife and it’s her fault.”
      I love your comment about humbling ourselves to God and husband, that is not a very popular view. Just that alone shows what a wise woman you are, love hearing that.
      Blessings to you dear friend and your marriage and thank you for visiting and commenting, the support is very appreciated. <3

  • Tio 10/22/2016, 2:35 am Link Reply

    Читаючи це свідоцтво, я плакала. Як тяжко молодим сім’ям в теперішній час! Диявол направляє все можливі стріли аби розбити сім’ю ! На кожному весіллі я плачу за молодих під час вінчання, аби Господь зберіг іх в часи випробувань!!!!
    Щоб дав би їм тих хто заступницькою молитвою проведе через них!
    Я рада за цю сім’ю , що знайшли знову Господа, і Його дорогу!!!!

    • admin 11/04/2016, 12:38 am Link Reply

      What a lovely comment, Tio. Prayer Warriors are needed, God bless you for that. Please keep my blog in your prayers as well, so God will be able to use it for His glory and to minister to others.. Thank you..

  • M. 10/21/2016, 8:16 pm Link Reply

    Praise the Lord! God is always ready to help us, if we’re willing to change ourselves and asking Him to help us. I recommend to read this awesome book for wifes: CREATED TO BE HIS HELP MEET by Debi Pearl. Thank you Valentina for these post, always looking for them. 🙂

    • admin 10/23/2016, 10:33 am Link Reply

      Thanks so much M.
      I love, love that book! Thanks for sharing!
      Awwww, thank you for the comment, so so happy you look forward to these posts! My heart always beats irregularly because I’m unsure of how these personal posts will be received so I soooo appreciate the support <3 <3 <3..

  • Anonymous 10/21/2016, 7:02 pm Link Reply

    What if I’m one of those that is in a bad situation too and really have NOONE who will hear my out? Have to deal with this all the time. Hurts so bad.

    • admin 10/23/2016, 10:28 am Link Reply

      Hello Anonymous,
      First of I sent you a personal e-mail:).
      Second, I am so sorry you are in a bad situation, my heart breaks for you. I oh so well know the feeling of loneliness. Not sure if you are a believer but can you believe it even Jesus had a dark time in His life when He felt alone? I love the idea that Jesus, our Savior walked on this earth and experienced and the pain we experience because He really GETS what we are going through. During His darkest hour on the cross He cried out Father “My God, my God, why have you forsaken Me?” and “He was despised and rejected by men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief.” (Isaiah 53:3) and can you imagine His brothers didn’t even believe in Him as Messiah (John 7:5). Yup, he knows what it’s like to be forsaken, misunderstood, and even alone. He gets your pain my friend. You are never alone!
      Though for us humans, that is a hard concept to grasp because we desperately long for acceptance. It’s a wonderful feeling when a friend or loved one can sit by you and cry with you. Or just be silence and listen to your pain. Feel like something lifts.
      I am NO EXPERT on marriage, but I have gone trough a lot and helped a lot of people deal with their problems. If you need an ear, I will listen anytime or day or night and help any way possible. :o)..
      Will be praying for you and your situation, especially that God will send someone in your life you will help you through it. <3

  • Sophie 10/21/2016, 4:49 pm Link Reply

    Wow, what a wonderful testimony. Thank you so much for sharing. I couldn’t help but cry!!

    • admin 10/21/2016, 11:44 pm Link Reply

      Same Sophie, love hearing stories like this. Just strengthens my faith.. We serve an amazing God..?

      • Sophie 10/22/2016, 4:07 pm Link

        Yes we do serve an amazing God 🙂 This lady’s story is something I think we all have to learn to have a good marriage. Looking at our partners flaws just makes us feel bitter. Nagging and complaining about their lack of involvement just sets up their backs. We need to get out of God’s way and pray for Him to change their hearts and not dwell on that stuff anymore. And focus on ourselves and what we can bring to our marriage and family that will make it peaceful and happy. That’s what I’ve learnt anyway, and what I keep reminding myself 😉

  • Olesya 10/21/2016, 4:20 pm Link Reply

    really like the idea of stories. this is really touching story but sometimes its not so easy, so sad but true. really agree that we are so quick to judge and so slow to grace, even me too if I am honest. good reminder for me too. Thank you Valentina for not being shy to share stories like this.
    thank you anonomous for sharing your story, I was really touched by it.

    • admin 10/21/2016, 4:48 pm Link Reply

      Olesya,
      Oh yes, totally agree. Any change that needs made is a hard battle and anything worth fighting for usually is tough.
      It’s very easy to judge a situation not know the full story or one side of the story, but that isn’t what we are called to do. We serve a just and all-knowing God and that is His job. I am so grateful for that.
      Thank you for visiting and especially for the feedback. Comments means so much <3..

  • Daria 10/21/2016, 4:16 pm Link Reply

    Beautiful testimony. I have a similar story and it’s so nice to hear God is still doing miracles today.
    Thank you Valentina for your heart to share these stories. <3

    • admin 10/21/2016, 4:38 pm Link Reply

      Thanks for the comment Daria. Yes, he is very much alive and working today as much as he has been. Many times we just are closed to see them. Just like in the time of Jesus himself, people saw him, witnessed His miracles yet were closed to accept them.
      Thanks for the support<3... Blessings on your family..

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